Settling in with Confidence
Your Child’s Journey into Independence
Starting nursery is a big milestone, not just for your child, but for you as a parent too. At Richborough Nursery, we understand that this transition can bring a mix of excitement and worry.
Our approach is simple: we take the time to do it properly, supporting both you and your child every step of the way. We don't believe in forcing children into routines, we build routines around them. Even when the settling in sessions are complete, we'll continue to communicate with you regularly, share how your child is getting on and adapt the routine where needed.
The Settling in Process
Before Nursery
Building Confidence at Home
Long before your child walks through our doors, their journey into independence begins at home.
We gently encourage parents to start introducing small moments of separation, such as:
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Spending time with grandparents or trusted family members
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Short periods with a babysitter
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Playing independently while you step into another room
These experiences help children understand an important concept:
“Mummy or Daddy always comes back.”
This links closely to the work of psychologist Erik Erikson, who identified early childhood as a stage of developing trust and autonomy. When children feel secure, they begin to explore the world with confidence.
It also connects to Attachment Theory, which shows that strong, secure bonds with caregivers actually encourage independence, not prevent it. When children feel safe, they are more willing to separate and explore new environments.
Step 1: A Gentle Introduction
6-7pm with Parents Included
Your child’s first settling session is designed to feel like…
visiting a friend’s house. No busy rooms, no overwhelming noise, no pressure. Just a calm, welcoming space where your child can explore freely, with you by their side.
During this session, we take time to:
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Learn about your child’s routine (sleep, meals, comfort habits)
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Understand their likes, dislikes, and interests
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Begin building a relationship with both you and your child
This allows us to tailor the nursery experience around your child, rather than expecting them to adapt instantly to us.
We use Penny Tassoni’s “5 Steps to Settling In (Without Tears)” approach to guide our process.
This helps us identify where your child is emotionally, for example:
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Are they happy exploring with you nearby?
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Do they check back in for reassurance?
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Are they ready for short separations?
Every child is different, and that’s exactly why we don’t rush this stage.
Step 2: First Short Separation
9-12pm
Once your child is ready, we move to the next stage:
a short session without parents. By this point:
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The environment is familiar
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The adults are familiar
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The routine has been introduced
This reduces anxiety significantly.
Our team will:
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Comfort and support your child if needed
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Engage them in meaningful play
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Keep you updated and reassured
We never believe in “just leaving them to cry”, instead, we respond sensitively and professionally.
Step 3: Extending the Day
9-1pm
As confidence grows, we gently extend your child’s time with us. This allows them to:
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Experience a fuller nursery routine
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Build relationships with staff and other children
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Develop independence at their own pace
By now, many children begin to:
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Separate more easily
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Engage in play more confidently
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Show excitement about returning
Step 4: First Full Day
Flexible and Child Led
Once your child has confidently completed their settling sessions, they’re ready for their first full day at nursery.
However, this doesn’t mean everything has to suddenly become fixed.
There is no strict cut-off time for drop-off or collection and no pressure to immediately do long days. Instead, you might choose to:
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Have breakfast at home and drop off slightly later
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Pick up a little earlier to ease your child into longer days
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Gradually build up to your full routine over time
This approach allows your child to:
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Adjust at their own pace
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Feel secure and not overwhelmed
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Build confidence in a manageable way
Step 5: Ongoing Support
Kay and the management team are always on hand to offer advice and help address queries. We encourage you to use the WhatsApp chat with Kay directly.
We have also included videos below that explain the theory behind our methods.